In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
