you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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