Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
