I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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