Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
