3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
soo... how was my night?
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