We're facebook friends in real life
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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