I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
