Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize