I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
