You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My vagina is officially offended.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
