Non-Jews are for practice
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
did i walk over a car last night?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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