Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
