In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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