i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize