What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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