I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
