I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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