My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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