i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
