Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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