I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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