I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
