He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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