So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
