You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
