If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
