i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
operation have a gay friend backfired
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize