We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Still dying that you shit outside
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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