bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
