I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
