The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
