Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
