If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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