Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
