I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I can text with my tongue
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
