They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize