theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
