I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize