why didn't you poke me back
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
