Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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