You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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