her facebook's as public as her vagina
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
