Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize