xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
