dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
