dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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