I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
