I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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