I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
