just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
