is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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