Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
