i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
