How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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