He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
