yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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