he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You dont lie about slip and slides
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
