I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
