She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
