so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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