OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize