Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
