Where is the hickey?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
