Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I will pee on everything he values.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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