I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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