Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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