:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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