It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
