Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Do vagina's smell?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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