I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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