I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You're breaking my sexual little heart
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
