What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize